What I do when I’m not writing by Allison A. Spector.
When I’m not writing, I’m thinking about writing. Or else I’m gathering words in my mind for later telling. Or spinning tall tales. Or else I’m reading.
When I’m not writing, my arms are wrapped around my children. I offer them kisses, and support, and silliness, and bouillon cubes of pre-portioned wisdom the best I catch-as-catch-can.
When I’m not writing, I’m pushing past branches and vines and banana slugs in the Evergreen Jungle. I’m singing silly songs and trading banter with my husband, or a group of strangers. I’m dancing like a wild heathen—marshmallow torches in each hand—around the fire.
When I’m not writing, I’m planning, building, collaborating. I’m sitting at a desk, gnashing my teeth and trying to save the planet.
When I’m not writing, I’m holding back the tides of chaos as I scramble to dismantle the tower of un-folded laundry at the foot of my bed. I’m arm wrestling dust-bunnies and letting them win ‘cause it takes a lot of energy to best those dang bunnies, and they’re kinda cute.
When I’m not writing I’m playing with kittens (although it is possible to cuddle kittens while writing, and this is very helpful). Or I’m playing really complicated tabletop games that involve character sheets and a DM with the patience of a saint.
When I’m not writing, I’m crying for the million injustices that exist on this earth, and hating the fact that I can’t single-handedly heal the world.
When I’m not writing, I’m incognito as an ordinary human. I live amongst you and collect words, and thoughts, and meaning and store them away in I am writing once more.
Trouble’s brewing in the Evergreen Jungle. When controversial author Rex Jupiter plans a visit to a Bellingham bookstore, news of his arrival attracts the attention of the mysterious Paladin, who plans on leading a mob of rioting housewives against him. But the Paladin has competition. Sleuth-extraordinaire Marian Krause has her own bone to pick with Jupiter as she scrambles to solve the death of a woman who has stolen her identity. Rex may think he has the situation under control, but when the wrath of the local Druids is incurred, pitchforks and torches may be the least of his concerns
A Sneak Peek Inside…
The Paladin knew just where to go. The Shipment had arrived an hour beforehand if his Intelligence was to be trusted. It could be. His Sources never failed him. He was sure the payload would be kept in the stockroom before it was added into the inventory. And he was correct.
The Paladin grabbed a box cutter from the pocket of his cape. It was hard to see in the dark and the eyeholes of his Guy Fawkes mask were too small, but these were mere trifles. Soon, dozens of the Heretic’s novels of Shameful Smarm would be loaded into his bag and artfully recycled in a socially responsible manner. No longer would readers be burned by the white-hot radioactivity of the inflammatory passages he knew lurked within those covers.
Passages housed within chapter titles like “How to Fan a Flame War,” “White Privilege Rocks!,” and “I Objectified Your Mama (and She Loved it).”
Whether the appropriations of the tools of troll-dom were ironic or non-ironic, it mattered little to the Paladin. The only thing that mattered was that he would soon be the agent through which a great Cultural Transformation would take place. And a glorious new age would dawn…
Or something like that.
But for now, he would start small. Yes, for now, he would have to be satisfied that the five hideous cardboard cut-outs of the arrogant, smirking Rex Jupiter would be hacked to—no, wait! Only four would be shredded. On the fifth, he would draw devil horns and a twirly moustache with, dare he imagine it, Permanent Marker.
Who is Allison Spector?
Born and raised in the hedonistic playground of the Jersey Shore, but finds herself oddly allergic to spray tan. She is a proud graduate of Goucher College, and started her environmentally-focused career in Washington DC in 2005. She moved to the Pacific Northwest in 2008, and fell in love with its beauty and people. Allison is currently on a Midwestern Adventure and is determined to live as much life as possible—to accomplish her dreams one at a time—and to nurture her loving family, and blaze a trail of wit, whimsy, and eccentricity wherever she goes.
Books available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Lets-Stalk-Rex-Jupiter-1888-ebook/dp/B0188MUKWE/