Day 5 – In Ward 23

Night Note: 1:45am 13/06/10

I woke up at 12:00am and the light was blinding. I don’t feel like I can fully feel my right side at all. The nurse asked if I’d slept on it but I’d slept on my stomach my forehead/face on my left arm because I can’t put my head on the pillow. 

My left eye feels like it isn’t opening properly. I’ve had my sunglasses on to ease my headache while I wait for the codeine. It seems like each time this happens it gets just that little bit worse.

The sound of the toilet flushing really hurts my ears. I don’t people realise how scary it is feeling liks this and knowing the only I know my arm leg and face isn’t completely numb is because they move. Although this time it took a couple of attempts to get the message through.

(Again I’d just wanted to point out my handwriting is absolutely atrocious here. It could be one of the first times I used my left hand to write. It looks like a five year olds written it.)

I felt awful on this particular day. The pain meds didn’t work. I didn’t ask for codeine because they didn’t work during the night. Around 7pm the photo-phobia and sound sensitivity returned. It was the world cup and England were playing. I was too ill to watch the match. I remember the keeper, I think his name was Green made a colossal error on the line and it was the talking point of the match.

I couldn’t sleep at all. I dropped off around 10:30 and woke up at midnight with a corking headache. The moment I opened my eyes the light was so bright, even though they’re dimmed at night. I had to put my sunglasses on. I went to the toilet and had to cover my ears during the flush I was that sensitive to the sound.

I asked for pain relief and it was an hour before the nurse brought it. I made her aware of the numbness in my right side, she didn’t write it in my notes. Soon after the pain began pulling at the top of my head again, which made me cry. I didn’t call the nurse. There wasn’t anything they could do.

The light just seemed to get brighter and brighter. At one point the light seemed so bright it could have been daylight. I don’t know how I went back to sleep but I dozed off and then the nurse woke me up opening my curtain. (I closed the curtain around my bed each night to block the light.) She clattered around and my pain level was definitely up at 9 out of 10.

I couldn’t sit up, couldn’t lie down, everything hurt. I couldn’t sleep.

I managed to nod off for about 20 minutes at 4:30 and the headache ease to a manageable 6 out of 10 by the time the doctor came to see me. Thank God. I was going home.

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