Mid November Still No Change

I worked out that the light sensitivity began on the 21st October. I remember sitting at my desk on Sunday wearing my sunglasses. What a joke!

It got progressively worse during that week until the 26th when I couldn’t leave the house. We’re now on the 12th November and my eyes hurt so much today that even turning the brightness down on the monitor doesn’t help. So I probably shouldn’t be writing this right now but… hey ho… my world isn’t all bright smiles, sparkly eyes and the “dark destroyers” might be a parody but today I really do feel dark and like they really are destroying my life.

People have no idea how much this stresses me out, which of course isn’t good for the migraine. I’m supposed to be attending classes at uni. I’ve missed so much this semester already and now I’m two weeks out with no end in sight. What I’d normally do when I’m like this, you know cooped up in the house is talk to my friends online, or completely submerge myself in writing my next novel.

Fate is playing a terrible joke on me this time because a) I can’t look at the computer for extended periods of time so when I can I’m trying my best to catch up on the work I have for Uni. b) I can’t look at a computer so I’m so isolated from everyone else at the moment. And c) I can’t look at a computer so writing… forget about it!

I’ve tried long hand. I wear glasses, and because the problem is my eyes, I can’t wear them. Every time I have had migraine which has prevented me from wearing my glasses in the past I’ve had my eyes tested and I’ve been told its the migraine affecting my eyes not my eyes affecting the migraines.

So this is me … in tears for what must be the sixth time in the last fortnight. I don’t know what’s worse or which one I’d rather have, the light sensitivity that prevents me from getting on with my life inside the house or the sound sensitivity (May 2012’s episode) that made me run and hide from the sound of a boiling kettle for three weeks. I know I definitely prefer these two over the reduced sensation in my right side because lets be honest not being able to write, control the mouse, hold a cup and not feeling confident enough to go outside, when everything else is perfectly fine well, it’s awful.

Yes, I am in full self pity mode. I am a not a Vampire. I do not wish to live like one any longer.

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